We all fight it. It’s so easy when we don’t love someone’s outfit or we disagree with someone’s choices. The truth is, however, that no one really needs your negative opinions on their choices. It actually freeing to embrace people’s choices for what they are; THEIRS.
It is enlightening to admire someone for their choices. Try it. the next time you see someone with a wild hairstyle, challenge your criticism and give them credit for their individualized choice. How amazing that they feel safe to show their style.
Doula experience has taught me this. I have tossed aside my judgmental self and embraced the amazing differences in people. Belive me, I used to be judgmental. I used to criticize people, in my head. The truth is that they had something I didn’t have, courage to be themselves. Now that I’m less critical of others, I feel more strength to be myself. Imagine that.
You want to birth outside? AMAZING.
You’d like a VBAC? FABULOUS.
You are planning an epidural? GREAT.
You really want to plan an un-medicated birth? FANTASTIC.
See, as your doula (or your friend), I want to support you have a birth that you want, which involves listening to you, hearing you, and celebrating your choices; and getting excited about them! Your birth has nothing to do with me, I’m just there to help you.
Hiring a doula should consist of hiring someone you trust to honor your choices. Someone who will support you, no matter what kind of birth you are planning. By the way, those same rules apply to friends and family. If they aren’t supporting your choices, it’s time to reconsider.
Seriously, JUDGMENT SUCKS.