The Unicorn Frappucchino

For decades, the food industry has been churning out this stuff that looks like and tastes like sustenance. When I was a kid there were barrels of sugar water that had drops of Red #40 and Blue #5; ice pops that were shaped like rockets and made our tongue turn shades of purple. We ate Twizzlers and drank Hawaiian Punch.

We got detention, suspension, sent to the office. Not one person cared that kids started their day with a Pop Tart and a Strawberry Nesquick.

Fruit Loops and Sunny D were “part of a complete breakfast”.


So, I ask you, what the hell is wrong with this Unicorn disaster that came out this past week?

It’s just the front man, the Flava Flav to the past 30 years of convenience/fast food in the US.

No need to hate the unicorn frappucchino.

But go ahead, that’s fine–hate the “pink drink”

(sorry Plexus Ambassadors)

BUT if you are going to be a snob about this milkshake, skip the Shamrock Shake (and I’m sure you turn your nose up at green beer too right?), The Coolata, The Cookies n’ Cream Milkshake and any larger-than-a-kid-size Blizzard.

Now that I’m being sued by every corporation that has a high calorie frozen beverage, I think the point is clear. These things exist, and they’re delicious. As a dietitian, I think they’re gross. I make healthy choices.  I have been educating myself for most of my adult life, in order to be healthier, eat better and take care of myself.  Now, I continue those efforts for my family. I eat and drink conscientiously. I focus on nourishment.


Occasionally, I choose a brownie. I indulge. I can’t tell you that I sit here drinking Kombucha, eating quinoa and tofu every night while trying to decide between squat challenges and yoga poses. We make good choices 6.5 days a week.  We choose organic meats, eggs, dairy.  We choose lots of vegetables.  We drink mostly water.  We love to try new foods and encourage our child to be brave and taste whatever is on her plate.  We have balance.  We do this so that on Sunday morning, when my daughter asks for Apple Pie Ala Mode for breakfast, I say “why not?”

Moderation, folks!

…and something stones and glass houses…

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